NBA No 1 pick discusses how he reached 'rock bottom,' leading to near suicide

NBA No 1 pick discusses how he reached 'rock bottom,' leading to near suicide

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This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

John Wall was once at the mountaintop of the NBA, but he sure has been through it over the last several years.

Since signing a max contract worth $170 million ahead of the 2017-2018 season, Wall has played just 147 games.

He’s had a fair share of injuries, including heel and Achilles injuries that kept him out from Dec. 26, 2018, to New Year’s Eve two years later.


John Wall of the Washington Wizards looks on during Game 5 of the first-round playoff series against the Raptors in Toronto on April 25, 2018. (Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

In the midst of all that, Wall lost his mother and grandmother, which led to Wall reaching what he called “rock bottom.”

Shortly after his mother died in 2019, Wall said he began taking mental health seriously and began to see a therapist, which he still does today.

But his mental state was so bad that he was one finger pull away from ending his life – on two occasions.

“If it wasn’t for my two boys, I would’ve killed myself,” Wall said on “The OGs” podcast with former NBA players Udonis Haslem and Mile Miller. “I put a gun to my head twice, and a lot of people that’s close to me and my friends at the time didn’t know.”

Then he had an epiphany.

John Wall vs the Timberwolves in 2021

John Wall (Jordan Johnson/NBAE via Getty Images/File)


“I was like, ‘Man, if I take myself away from this Earth, I’m failing my kids. Who’s going to be able to raise them?’ At that time, I was in a dark space trying to find happiness. So, for me, it was going out, partying, having fun, just trying to find something to get me some peace, and it wasn’t the right way.”

“I still talk to a therapist to this day,” he continued. “So, if you ever feel like you’re in a spot where you’re not comfortable. … Go get help, it’s OK. There’s nothing wrong with it. I had to figure that out, or I wouldn’t be here today.”

Wall remains a free agent. He last played on Jan. 13 last year with the Los Angeles Clippers.

John Wall dribbling

John Wall of the Los Angeles Clippers is shown during the game against the Dallas Mavericks at Arena in Los Angeles on Jan. 10, 2023. (Katelyn Mulcahy/Getty Images)


From 2013 to 2021, he was named an All-Star five times. He averaged 20.0 points and 9.5 assists per game in that span.

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